24 years ago.
I could no longer ignore the signs, that calm, logical voice that had done such a good job so far, began to stammer, and now it was completely gone.
Without it, I could not help but sink deep into the atmosphere I had created with my own hands.
I was not sure either how or what to do:
Should I try to change something, or perhaps flow with the events?
I looked at her and considered telling her everything, sharing with her what I knew. Her enchanted eyes gave me a glittering look and a smile. No, I’ll keep it all to myself, even if the desire to tell is strong, even if I felt and knew it would make me stay away and close myself.
In my mind, I went back a few days back to the same spread I had tried to avoid, but in the end, I did not resist the temptation, curiosity overcame me. I spread the cards a few minutes before I left. I saw those colorful figures, so familiar. But this time they refused to cooperate and did not connect in any way. “Why should not I let the beaches of ‘Sinai’ surprise me, why should not I try to experience everything that this place has to offer me cleanly without stupid expectations?”
But my hands had already spread the cards again, and in my head, I kept repeating the question: “What will happen to us on the shores of Sinai?”
I turned the cards over again and again figures, this time different, and this time they had a strange story to tell me.
I learned not to treat the cards as a universal truth, and I learned to appreciate logically and irrational answers that I received from them from time to time. But this time I did not really know how to relate to what they told me.
The clock ordered 9:00 am, I was already a little late. I picked up my bag, checked again for packing everything, and hurried to the street where I parked. Since my car was only able to start when I pushed it, I made sure to park downhill again. I was amused by the whole thing, so I did not hurry to fix the problem.
Old fears reappeared, and I uttered a short prayer to the Creator to help us reach our destination safely, without mechanical mishaps. (This is an antique car that saw beautiful days before I bought it).
We were three, me, Fred and Joseph. For some reason this trip to Sinai excited me, I was sure that staying with my two good friends on the shores of Sinai could only give birth to magical experiences. But the cards thought otherwise.
Fred was already waiting for me at the entrance to his house, on the sidewalk beside him was a large, menacing bag that looked bigger than the poor trunk of my Renault 5. After we tried all the angles without success, we decided that the back seat would be more suitable, even if it bothered Joseph. (For some reason it was clear that he was the one sitting in the back).
It was not until I told Fred about the spread, that I thought it was better to keep the whole thing to myself, but it was too late.
“What?” He asked? “We will not have a place to sleep, there will be strong rain in Sinai, I will meet a girl whose astrological sign is Cancer, and in the end, two of us will stop talking with the third person,” I repeated my words without going into the details again.
“You with your nonsense again?” Fred chuckled. “Rain in the middle of summer in Sinai?” He looked at me with a dismissive look. “And if we fight with someone, it’s probably with Joseph, who will probably do the usual nonsense,” he sighed and sat down in the front seat.
I wanted to explain to him that this was not a quarrel between friends, but a sharp and clear break, but I stopped myself.
Joseph arrived a few minutes later, and the three of us went out to the south.
The road to Sinai went smoothly, we laughed most of the time. Fred took over the wheel, claiming there were dangerous parts to drive, and he was the more experienced driver than we were.
Towards evening, we were already in Sinai, after crossing the border and arriving at Tarabin Beach. Soon, for a few dollars, we got a place for the night, and we started to settle down.
No trace of that spread, not even thought.
We spent two days in Tarabin, two days of rest, food, sea, sandstorms, and desert. But for some reason we were uncomfortable.
It was a strange feeling that the trip had not yet begun, that this was not where we should have been. This feeling aroused thoughts of other shores. Two days later, we collected our belongings and took a taxi to another beach – ‘Ras el-Satan’.
We got there in the evening, and the sun was almost gone. This beach was much smaller and more friendly, it had something more homey and cozy. We decided that this was the place where we wanted to stay, but after a brief clarification, we learned that there were no available places to rent.
That’s how it started! Now that I think about it and reconstruct everything, I understand that this is the point the cards dealt with. The first spread I could not understand much about was the first two days and the confusing feeling. The second spread began with the fact that we had no place to stay. Strangely, I did not think of it at the time, and even when the sky turned black and filled with heavy clouds and rain washed over us and all our belongings, I tried to ignore the few thoughts that began to bother me and remind me of the spread. But how long can I ignore and try to convince myself that there is no connection here, that everything is a matter of chance?
The rain that did not stop and only got worse made us flee from the new shore. We managed to catch a taxi that took us back to Eilat, and from there with my Renault 5, we managed to find a hostel for that night.
The next morning we sat together in a small courtyard, in the compound of the hostel, to discuss our continued stay in Eilat.
We sat down on plastic white chairs, it was early and quiet and there was no one around, except for a girl we thought was a hostel employee. I sat there a little thoughtfully, trying to think a bit about what had happened. Behind me, I heard the girl offering hot drinks to my friends. Moments later, she stood in front of me and spoke to me in English.
Why did she think I was a tourist, I do not know, but instead of answering her in English, I asked her in our language- “Is your astrological sign is ‘cancer’?” Yes, it was, and she was as surprised as I was.
I held back and did not tell her, about the spread and the cards that insisted that we had a connection from past lives.
The feeling was strange, I seemed to be watching a play in which I myself played a leading role, I knew where the next step would lead me, but I did not know how to behave? I thought that as long as I knew what was going to happen, I would be able to change, but every time I would wake up after something had already happened and the cards were talking about it.
I will not spell out all our other adventures in Eilat, just say that from that morning, we spent our last days in Eilat with this girl. For her part, she tried to get close to me, but I found myself moving away and closing myself.
Fred spent all his efforts to get her into bed, but without success, and Joseph, as usual, enjoyed everything.
In the end, after we returned home, both I and Joseph, without any agreement, and without talking about it between us, we broke off any contact with Fred. (Joseph did not even know about the spread).
After a few months, Joseph died in a car accident. After a few years, I found a note in which I wrote down the details of that spread. I was stunned to discover some cards that spoke about his death… I did not remember if I did not understand the interpretation at the time, or did I bury this information deep in my subconscious ?!
I meet Fred only at Joseph’s memorial days. That farewell was really sharp and smooth, and I never saw that girl again.